Camping Tales

I hate camping.  That's on a personal level, but it goes deeper than that.  I also think camping is illogical.  Thousands of years of technological development has lead mankind to the complex and advanced world that I rather enjoy living in.  Why would I turn my back on all of my fore-bearers who would have beat me on the head if I said I'd rather live like them?  It doesn't make sense.

I have nothing against those who love camping - nor do I hate the outdoors.  I just don't want to sleep with it.  I'm discerning that way.  Bugs and wild animals are fine, but if they get close to me, they had better be on a plate - preferably with gravy.  To sum up: wilderness is a great place to visit, but I have a house to sleep in, thanks.

My sons are in the Boy Scouts.  This means that I will go camping, but only because I love my kids.  And fire.  Playing with fire is one of the true pleasures of camping, I must admit.  The boys would have been happy to play with that fire the whole time.  Oh, wait.  They did.  We had a great time!

We did the traditional camping things.  We arrived at six and had dinner sometime around nine.  Setting up camp was done as follows:
     Boys: "This is a good spot, Dad!"
     Me: "OK!  Will you boys help me lay out this drop cloth?  Boys?  Boys?"
     (Simian-like sounds come from the trees...)

The evening fire was started with flint and steel (and a dash of magnesium powder).  It took a while, but was a good exercise for the lads.  We made some roasting sticks and cooked hot dogs, played Capture the Flag until midnight, rubbed S'mores all over ourselves (something like that, anyway), and generally terrified the woodland creatures in the area.  The single skunk who had a residence near the camp thankfully was one of the first to leave, and he didn't make too much of a stink about it.

We froze our tushes off during the night.  I mean it was really cold!  Extra blankets and good sleeping bags notwithstanding - Brr!  Never have I been so glad to see the dawn!

The boys and I got up and puttered around for a while forlornly trying to make a fire with damp wood.  Eventually we got it going and started to thaw out.  We had a breakfast of hot-chocolate-flavored, ash-topped pancakes (with marshmallows!) and scrambled eggs.  After playing with the fire for a few hours we all went to check out an abandoned bridge.  No one fell in the water despite many valiant attempts.

We went home filthy, tired, and bloody, with huge grins on our faces.  First thing we did was unpack and then hit the showers.  Thank goodness for those hardworking, innovative fore-bearers!  I really appreciate the indoor plumbing and hot water they provided.